what did i do to deserve this pain

(oh oh oh oh) / That fear coming true / Did I say too many things in rage / To friends, to lovers, to family? I remember feeling like someone had ripped the earth out from under me.

By all means prepare yourself for the possibility of emotional pain and physical agony – these befall most of us at some point in our lives – but never seek to convince yourself that this is all there is.

Constantly remind yourself of the wonder that can be found in this world if you are prepared to look for it. Change ). Did I do something bad in a past life? While this is our reality, we should not let our minds trick us into believing that life must be dominated by pain or that one person deserves more than any other – both are lies. So, regardless of how you take all of this, I want to thank you for taking the time to read this. Leave a comment below and share your experiences. But then I also think about why I got sick and is there something I am supposed to learn from this? Today I want to discuss what happens when we feel that someone hurt us or did us wrong. We end up thinking “what did I do to deserve this?”, This is the trap of the drama triangle. At that moment we can reach out to someone who is safe, caring, someone we can trust, who can help us process it. If we seek out suffering, it will have no such lessons to teach us; after all, how can we expect to learn anything when our minds are so unreceptive to the potential good in any situation? I do think I was on the wrong path before I had my burn injury.

Not in a bad way, I just wasnt doing what I wanted. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. In fact, as long as you maintain the belief that this pain is somehow right, you are likely to overlook any meaning that might be gained. We don’t need to give anyone or anything else our power. Hard things are hard enough without imagining that they mean we’re worthless or that someone is now controlling who we are and what the rest of our life will look like. ( Log Out / 

Stuck with all these emotions and no idea what to do with them. Life with CRPS: Something to look forwards to! Yes, pain can teach us many things and help us grow as individuals, but only when it comes as a natural consequence of life. When we do that, when we see ourselves as that helpless, our mind has to conclude that there must be something seriously wrong with us. I love that I can truly help people because I GET what they’re going through.

When we are troubled by our actions, it is because we understand their negative consequences and wish to somehow take them back. Did I do something bad in a past life? I was literally just stuck. We end up thinking “what did I do to deserve this?” This is the trap of the drama triangle. Surely I have earnt my next life and learnt what I need from this. Yes, pain can teach us many things and help us grow as individuals, but only when it comes as a natural consequence of life. Change ), You are commenting using your Google account. Of course those who knew me could tell what was going on underneath, but I was so stuck in that survival brain pattern that I didn’t realise what was happening or what I was really feeling.

Sort by. dont understand one thing why do i love her so much.she will never love me. I now realise that I was very unhappy and letting a lot of people rule me in a way. I lost so much, but then also gained a lot. Off to bed for me. The summer I turned 16 I was away at camp and my family arrived to pick me up. Want to hear more? It’s also true that you can take a great deal of meaning from suffering, but it isn’t the case that you have to suffer in order to find meaning.

You don’t question the reasoning behind the pain, preferring to consider it your fate in life. When we are blaming someone else for how we feel, what we are actually saying is “I’m helpless in this situation and therefore I am fundamentally flawed.”. Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment. Pain does happen – it may be a benign consequence of chance, the result of our own choices, or down to the actions (malevolent or otherwise) of third parties. Thats if we do get more chances. Have you ever convinced yourself that you deserve to have bad things happen to you? You actually begin to associate your life with suffering. From that day on, I only saw my mom about once a year. You are entitled to happiness; you are worthy of joy; you deserve to experience many moments of bliss. This thread is archived. If I did it must have been pretty bad. And that allows us to keep this experience where it belongs - as simply an awful event, an experience in our past, something that helped us see our own strength as we overcame it - not allowing it to become something that keeps us down forever. We’re talking about the inner belief that you have not earned the right to be free from pain and hurt. i was mean to her by ignoring her and then she started flirting with some other guy and that pissed me, so i stopped talking to her or looking at her and she did the same thing.now i cant even get her out of my head.whenever i look at her she looks away completly ignores me and busy flirting with that other guy..

Feeling bad about something you regret doing is natural and healthy, it is how we learn where our moral boundaries are. I receive a commission if you choose to purchase anything after clicking on them.

That we don’t set boundaries and have clear and firm expectations of what’s ok and what’s not ok. Have you ever been in this mindset? If so, what did you do to escape it? But he was dealing with his own grief and was just as confused as my mom, and so neither of my parents were really able to support me in the way that I needed. I know what’s like, xoxo. This page contains affiliate links. What did I do to deserve this pain Microsoft. Have you felt pain and believed that it was warranted? I have some great friends that I have met through CRPS, I’m much closer with my family I think Im earning a good next life. When we are caught in a survival reaction and feel helpless and out of control, we end up feeling feel like a victim. Sometimes we need to get them into trouble for what they have done. My power is the way I was eventually able to see this experience as an incredible opportunity for growth. Here I was a new crisis, a new trauma, and it happened all of a sudden just like the bombs going off when I was a kid, so my brain responded in the same way. In fact I've even gone so far to say that I deserve the most humiliating, painful, and agonizing death.

This is the trap of blame. So I looked to my dad to be the perfect saviour. If I did it must have been pretty bad.

I had this ringing sensation in my ears like I had been hit over the head with a wooden plank. My power is the strength I found in myself going through this, the incredible experience of setting boundaries with my mom and telling her that what she did was not ok, and eventually healing our relationship because that is what I wanted. This doesn’t mean that we don’t hold people accountable. Posted by 9 months ago. To help explain, I’m going to talk about something I went through as a teenager and my experience of losing and gaining my sense of power in that situation. This experience of losing my mom at the age of 16 was such an important part of my journey, and now I am so grateful I experienced that, because I wouldn’t be the person I am today without having gone through that and learned everything I learned from it. When hard things happen, we often want to blame. save hide report.

I often wonder if I did something to deserve getting one of the most painful chronic diseases known to man. You are not destined to suffer; there is no malevolent force bringing misery to your doorstep.

level 1. But you are no more deserving of pain and hurt than anyone else. My power is in the insight and experience that I gained which I now use in my work with teenagers who also feel abandoned and rejected. And one thing our minds love to do when we don’t have perspective, is blame. We feel like someone or something else is the persecutor, the bad guy, and we want something to rescue us from our misery. I guess I just have to hope for the best and that the universe has a bigger plan for me. And losing that sense of stability and security was a really crushing blow. This is exactly what happened to me. You are a miracle of life that is both an utterly unique individual and part of a far greater whole. My meds are kicking in. You are only on this earth for a short time and you mustn’t spend a single moment in the belief that pain is all that you can expect. Nobody seems to even care about me, I don’t want to be the one that constantly brings up my illness just to have a conversation, I am so alone. You may also like (article continues below): You have to accept that while bad things do happen, they are by no means the inevitable consequence of every action you take. You’re strong, i hope everything is going well for you. This is a feeling of total powerlessness. It was really really hard.

Meme / Humor.

When I was focused on blaming my mom, I was stuck in a helpless pattern which prevented me from moving past this experience. Immediately my mind started pretending everything was fine and trying to shut down my feelings because it was the only way I knew how to cope. When your mind starts to think this way, you no longer try to prevent the hurt and, instead, openly accept it as your new reality. Peace of mind and spirit belong to you as much as any other person – all you have to do is accept that this is the case. For many years I thought, largely cause of my upbringing that I deserve nothing but pain in my life. As long as I saw myself as a helpless victim, nothing could change. My mom was the persecutor, the bad guy, and I desperately wanted a rescuer. Archived. Buried underneath a mask. What did I do to deserve this? What did I do to deserve this pain Microsoft. We feel powerless and stuck and we don’t know what to do. ( Log Out /  But we can do all this without blame. Sometimes we need to cut people out of our lives if they are really hurting us.

share. Meme / Humor. A good one at least. How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself: 8 Highly Effective Tips, 9 Symptoms Of Toxic Shame: How To Identify It In A Person, The Underlying Causes Of Shame (+ Why It’s Not All Bad), © Copyright A Conscious Rethink. ( Log Out /  best. I do think I was on the wrong path before I had my burn injury. 4 comments. My brother was on his way to college that year, and so all of a sudden it was just me and my dad. Writing it has actually been rather therapeutic for me, and it feels good to get all of these thoughts out of my head. We don’t need to do that. Do not let it go to waste in the false belief that your life deserves to be full of pain and punishment. Our mind sees no way out, and so it interprets the situation as being related to some deep and irreparable flaw in us. If so, you need to read this article. Living in a small town was lonely and I worried about wasting my life. I hope my silly rant makes sence. I often wonder if I did something to deserve getting one of the most painful chronic diseases known to man. No one has that power over us. Close. ( Log Out / 

It’s what Stephen Karpman, MD calls being stuck in the drama triangle. I thought we were a happy family. Our mind sees no way out, and so it interprets the situation as being related to some deep and irreparable flaw in us.

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